Damn you Dunkin’ Bagel!

Last week I had the opportunity to attend my first ever NBA basketball game at the United Center – Bulls vs Nuggets, and oh what a game it was. It was all very exciting, what with Pickle the jumping show dog, the tricycle relay races and the chance to win amazing prizes such as 2 gallons of Hinkley Fresh Water, or a Dunkin donuts bagel. Oh, and I guess all that basketball playing as well. There was this really tall Bushy Haired player (some know him as Joakim Noah) who was playing very well, with some excellent moves – including one involving jumping high and forcing the ball into this netted channel that was positioned on a glass bilboard of some sort (some may know this move as a ‘dunky slam’). The Bulls played surprising well, beating the Nuggets 135 to 121. However, the most exciting part of the night was definitely when the Bulls broke the 100 score mark and the entire audience realized they had just won a free Big Mac.  Lets go gluttony, lets go!  (I’ll admit I was pretty excited when I imagined I could trade in my big mac coupon for one of these delectable numbers

Yup, thats right – the infamous DOUBLE filet-o-fish from McDonalds.  Chunder like you’ve never chundered before!)

So True.

Who are the real heroes?

There has been a lot of talk in the media lately of drug abusing athletes. Steroids are being pushed around like younger siblings and people are starting to take notice. Blame is being thrown around to spouses and parents and doctors – its quite riveting. The whole thing reminds me of an episode of Buffy where the schools swim team coach is secretly drugging the team members to enhance their performance. They are being given this experimental drug that was developed during the 2nd world war by the Germans who were experimenting with performance enhancers and fish DNA. The result – high school kids that can swim really fast and then eventually turn into canabalistic fish monsters that live in the sewers – their destiny: to eat the school nurse, battle the legendary slayer, and then find their way home and to freedom in the deep blue sea. The moral of this episode : Buy American.

B is for “Biatch”

I flew back to Toronto last week (yes, that’s right.. again. Diamond lasers couldn’t cut this cord) and while at the airport waiting for my flight back to Chicago, I heard a flight attendant describing gate changes from gate B5 to B12 by using the illustration “Bee as in bible”. I ask, when did “bible” become the new “Bob”?! Is B really for Bible? It just seems like this is yet another way for some one to go throwing the bible all up in my face. Isn’t it enough that I have the all powerful, ever watchful eye of the almighty Allah (read: my mom) already riding me like its his job or something, do you need to go adding reminders of some other God (read: my dad) that I’m clearly disappointing? Why not use more neutral illustrations? What about B as in “back off, you’re suffocating your daughter”? or how about B as in you’re “Breaking my balls”?  These…. I could relate to.