Educational, yet Painful. Peep this Boyzzz

The first girl in this clip, who rejects like its her job, is my friend Anja.  My hero.

Big Up Props: The Take Back

You know, I was just about to write a post I was going to title ” Way to go Whitey” in which I planned to commend and give big up props to all whiteys out there for knowing so much about Islam. My parents just left for their religious pilgrimage to Mecca, a trek that all Muslims must complete at least once in their lifetime if fortune affords them the chance. It is quite a big deal and warranted a special trip home to Toronto to see them off. As I tried to explain to many random whiteys about why I was going home, many – in fact almost all – already knew about this Islamic obligation and could speak intelligently about its significance. I was happy to learn that people were trying to educate themselves, even if they were getting their information from some discovery channel special. My elation was quickly squelched when I read this article in the NY times titled ” Congressman Criticizes Election of Muslim.

I just do not understand how this kind of shit is STILL GOING ON!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! What kind of reaction would we have seen if he had said the same thing about a Jewish Congressman who wanted to use the Torah to get sworn in? And since when is it the Muslims “greatest goal” to see ” the Islamicization of America”?? What the hell does that even mean?? I’m pretty sure most Muslims, extremists included, just want you to get the FUCK OUT OF THEIR COUNTRY! And not because you are white and not Muslim, but because you are an American capitalist jackass who is just looking to exploit for your own personal gain regardless of the consequences (which you aren’t the victim of anyway!)

Ok. I think I got that out of my system. I would like to apologize if anyone is offended by my use of the term whitey. I really just mean non-Muslims, which almost always means a white person (especially in the corporate crowd I’m rolling with these days). Please do not take offense.

I think I need to go lie down now.

Hello Blog. You’re a stupid head.

Ok no…. no… I take it back.. .. I take it back!!

The Peh-zants Peh-uzzle

As I have managed to already blog about my undergarments in quite some detail in an earlier post (specifically regarding my “much to be desired” laundering practises) I feel that its ok to tell the story that I am about to tell. I only ask that you don’t judge, for I am my fathers daughter, and really only stories like this can truly give justice to the extent of the absentmindedness that runs in the family.

I am not very adventurous when it comes to my undergarments. I won’t lie, I choose comfort above all else, vanity be damned! But like most girls I have the basics – white, black, blue and the one scandalous pair of red panties (cotton of course). So when, say for example, months have gone by, countries have been traversed, addresses altered, numbers changed, and you have had no sighting of those testimonial pair of red underwear, you really begin to wonder where such things could possibly disappear to. I think to myself “I did travel for about 3 and a half months over multiple continents and countries. Is it possible that those panties are laying tellingly in some hostel casually ignored in a corner, to be fatefully discovered by some greased out hippie one day when the annual cleaning rolls around. Ugh.. disgusting”. At this point, I felt that it was the only explanation that would suffice to account for such an obvious omission from my panty collection.

As I’ve said, months have gone by… I now live in Chicago and still nothing. I recently got the rest of my things shipped over from home – clothes, shoes, books, CD’s – things that weren’t vital for survival but sorely missed. Most of the clothes I took travelling were tucked away in these boxes – since the “hole in crotch” jeans look hasn’t made its way into office trends just yet. Now, dresser drawers and closets are bulging and I happily have more choice than I’ve had in a long time. So casual Friday rolls around and I am happy to be able to dress like myself again and not in the style that can really only be described as seriously demented (picture that if you can). However, I was up late the night before making a pornographic calendar for a co-worker (which is a whole other story), so in my drowsy haste the next morning, I grabbed the first pair of jeans I found in my drawer and threw them on. I did have time though to give myself a once over, aptly noting that these particular pair of jeans made my ass look particularly lumpy in very particular places and in a most particularly unflattering chunder inducing way. Shrugging this off as merely the state of things, I made my way to work arriving at the crisp morning dew hour of 10:00 am. The day progressed, my bladder expanded, I ventured to the latrine to take care of some business. Now without going into too much detail, all I can say is that I made the most interesting discovery while I was in the bathroom – and no it is not what you think – I didn’t suddenly become a woman or suddenly realize I am not a woman – But I did discover where I had been hiding those most sneaky and deceptive pair of red underwear! Praise Allah! Right there, in the most encompassing protective hollow of my crotch did I discover that I had unconsciously brought along a spare pair of panties to work! Well, I was surely happy to know that those unsightly bulges were not indicative of that entire cheese wheel I consumed the night before despite my debilitating lactose intolerance. Also, It was a relief to realize that my panties were not being used as a cleaning rag in some scuzzy hostel. Although the mystery of the missing panties had been solved, the details of their travels were still unclear. And then my mortification became unparalleled as I realized then that I had to somehow make my way back to my desk with those red panties in hand, no longer safely concealed in the most intimate and inaccessible areas of my pants! Well, a few fancy maneuvers later involving a cream pie, a cantilevered (or Panty -levered… ha. ha. ha) catapult mechanism, and a stray cat, I made it safely back into my half-walled haven and aptly stuffed those panties into my purse. Does the saga of those panties end here you ask? well, ideally the story would have ended several months ago when I first did some laundery upon my return to the Americas…. however, the ridiculousness continues. I flew home on saturday to Toronto, and what did I discover in my bag as I searched for my passport?!? My god damn red panties! Needless to say I have burned and buried the ashes of those panties in my backyard, hoping only that they don’t come back to haunt me Pet Cemetary style one day.

Saba’s Greatest Hits

Here are few things people have googled to get to my blog.

1. tits.

2. Gingerbread Mosque.

3.  Cool shit for Christmas.

4.  France.

and the latest gem

5. centrum silver 50+ make me fat

 I think its fair to say that I know how to appeal to the masses.

Giggly-goo

http://gofugyourself.typepad.com/

Probably one of the funnier things I’ve seen in a long while.. and believe me.. I know funny. I just saw Salman Rushdie driving a toyota camry down Fullerton.

(I particularly enjoy the Posh Spice/Karl Lagerfeld exchange)

A Muslims First Christmas

In the spirit of Kelsey’s comment and being that it is the first of Dec, I thought it fitting to share some memorable moments from Christmas 2005 better known as “A Muslims First Christmas”

Making Gingerbread Mosque

Decorating the Tree

Equals sacrilege